A quick preface to this story – the owner of this site had some interactions with Kenyon Clarke via social media, namely Instagram. Spring, who, with a well known property source advising him, asked Kenyon Clarke a series of relevant questions about his so called property empire. During these text exchanges between Spring and Clarke, for some reason Clarke decided to exclaim that Spring was “comedy gold”… well you fake toff voiced clown, you are the comedy gold.
Right, back to the real life Truman Show that is Du Val, and the Clarkes.
History with markets and property is often a great ‘rear view’ mirror tale of those times, the excess, the sex, the cocaine, the champagne, and the players. In the end it is just unforgiving.
Back in the 80s we had Yuppies.
Then in the 90s we had the Wide Boys.
Into the 2000’s it was the first time bankrupts re-emerging for round 2.
Then the GFC hit and some of the same players got wiped out again. This was Kenyon’s first bankruptcy.
Rolling forward to today it’s a new kind of sleaze ball. It’s the twice, and thrice bankrupted property guys back on the scene, this time using and abusing NZ’s lack of regulation and control.
Commercial corporate delinquents actually became a thing. The middle finger salute if you will. A brash arrogance never seen before from those wanting little piece of their own fiefdom.
Enter the “Social Media” phase… enter the real comedy gold, by the name of Kenyon Clarke.
Clarke, a bumbling hustler, with a buffoon swagger, a toff voice, and penchant for loving himself, ruling his own universe, loving the sound of his own voice, and extolling the virtues of his ‘gods gifted talent’ of being a property mogul, renting private jets… this list of wannabe billionaire extravagance knew no bounds. Kenyon Clarke is our new Ralph Simon, mixed with a dash of Michael Knight (not from Knight Rider). If you are of age you will know.
Fuelled with OPM “other peoples money”, offshore cash, and a love of debt, we saw the emergence of the Du Val Group. Kenyon Clarkes much hyped property “dream machine”. Everyone in NZ could jump on the property ladder… all you had to do is buy a shitbox rental in a crap suburb.
Sound good so far?…. With a huge Instagram following his every move he was unstoppable, like the oracle on a bouelvard of soon to be broken dreams.
Business, entrepreneurship, and most importantly property investment was a prominent feature in this real life Truman Show. The moulding of the property Fugazi.
Let’s not forget Kenyon Clarke, whilst standing in his best tan vinyl jacket behind a Ferrari can be heard saying “I’m the guy who built a $750M property empire”. A short time later he blasted a few $20 buck notes out of the exhaust pipe. Cheap skate.
With the FMA having raided his rented home in swanky Remmers, and 60 plus companies now under Court supervision for receivership, China Construction Bank appointing its own receivers, and multiple liquidation applications all about to see the inside of a Court room, it begs the question that needs to be answered … where is the $750m empire? As Jerry Maguire said “show me the money!”.
Spring says when he messaged Kenyon Clarke about exactly how he thought he was kidding the wider gullible public, Clarke bragged about owing $400m, about the upcoming TV show, all the bravado of a conman.
Spring will leave the story here for now with this thought “I wonder if Kenyons asshole ever gets jealous of his mouth given the volume shit that rolls out of it”.
Stay tuned for more comedy gold!
P.s Kenyon if you are reading this drop us a line… if you still have your devices that is after the raid.
